POST // 004 - Too Many Secrets

Eighth grade started as most school years did, but it would become an interesting time for me and probably a pivotal moment in this journey. I started doing better in school. I started hanging out with new friends and finding that my interests aligned with others. I also started being more interested in girls and wanting to explore that more.

One Friday night my sister and her friends decided to go to a movie. I didn't want to be stuck at home by myself, and I wanted to go to a movie too. I presented my case to my parents, and my sister was very unhappy that I was trying to tag along. I'd be lying if I said part of me wasn't interested in the fact that there'd be older girls there.

I didn't even know what the movie was. I'd never heard of it. I honestly had no interest in it and didn't even know what it was about. But I still argued that I should be able to go until my parents finally made my sister take me with them.

We were on our way to the theater when I asked what the movie was called.

"Sneakers."

"What is this... a movie about some shoes!?"

And yes, I was the only one who thought my joke was funny.

I got a soda and some popcorn and sat down next to my sister and her friends. The movie started, and I still had no real idea what I was in for. For my sister and her friends, this was just a way to get out of the house, away from their parents, and for a bunch of girls to spend time together. For the other people around me, maybe they were there to watch a Robert Redford movie or for some other reason. I don't necessarily know why they were there or what their experience was.

I was sitting in that chair having a life-altering experience.

I wouldn't fully understand the impact it was having on me at the time, but I was having these really intense moments of seeing a world that I so desperately wanted to be a part of.

Algorithms. Encryption. Janek's black box. The moment Whistler touches the right leads with the probes and we watch the data scroll past, not on a screen, but reflected in his glasses. "Too Many Secrets" appearing on the Scrabble tiles.

"Anyone want to crash a couple of passenger jets!?"

Carl says, "So, it's a code breaker!"

Marty replies, "No, it's THE code breaker."

Then Crease: "There isn't a government on the planet that wouldn't kill us all for that thing!"

The movie ended and I went home, my mind racing about what I'd just watched. I was trying to remember it all. I felt like electricity. I wanted to do this. I wanted to be part of a team that did this kind of work. I wanted to be these people and have this knowledge. It's all I could think about over the weekend.

Not long after seeing Sneakers, it was time to sign up for some of my eighth-grade classes. One of the options was an Introduction to Computers class. Computers already interested me, and after seeing Sneakers, I wanted to know more, so I signed up for it.

The class covered the basics of using a computer and different types of software. We used Grolier's Encyclopedia to do research, ClarisWorks for writing, and MacDraw for things like using shapes to draw the layout of a room.

This is where I started really hanging out and talking to a kid named Steve. I remember being in school and having classes with Steve before this, but this is where we really started talking more and getting to know each other better. We started bonding over computers and technology.

In my final quarter of eighth grade, I had to write a book report for my English class. The assignment was to read a book that was interesting to you and write a report on it. It sounded awful, but what can you do!?

We had a new middle school, and the library was gorgeous. Huge windows and a rounded front. Lots of natural lighting. At 14 years of age, I can't say I fully appreciated the library, but I didn't hate being there.

We took a few class sessions in the library to find a book we'd be interested in. I had no idea what I was going to read or even what genre I was interested in. The first day I kind of wandered around aimlessly, and the second day was kind of a loss too, but I was running out of time.

I talked to one of the librarians, and she started asking me questions about what I was interested in. I finally just said, "Computers."

She flipped through some stuff and said, "Here's a book that you might be interested in. Follow me."

We walked over to the bookshelves, and she pulled a book down and handed it to me.

The Cuckoo's Egg: Tracking a Spy Through the Maze of Computer Espionage.

It looked interesting. My class was leaving, and I was trying to get the book checked out. I felt good that I'd finally found something, and then I ran to catch up with them as they headed back to class.

It took me a few days to start the book. The first few chapters were a little dry, and I thought, What did I get myself into here?

This guy is an astronomer at a college riding his bike around. This is BORING!! A 75-cent accounting error... oh yes, espionage is afoot.

But a few chapters later, I was hooked. I honestly would eat dinner and then head to my room to read. I was so engrossed in the story. An unknown foreign hacker, insecure systems, a cat-and-mouse game, U.S. military systems... How were they going to catch this person? How was he able to move around the network and keep getting into all these systems, steal data, and continue logging in?

Sneakers. The Cuckoo's Egg. Introduction to Computers.

This world was starting to unfold, and I was starting to step into it.